Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
