Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize