McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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