We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
