nutella sex= disaster
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
