WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
