the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
