oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
