are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Never joke about your clitoris.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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