Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
