this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
