exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
