If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
