I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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