Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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