I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
false alarm, still single
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