What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
