Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
