The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
