I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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