break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I booty called her while she was in labor.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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