return my video game
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
