I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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