i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
