Duck Duck Cougar?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
