My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
