ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
