people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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