my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
