thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
