I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
no you cant smoke seaweed
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
