but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
