come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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