it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The chlamydia really affected his face.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize