I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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