Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
