I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
