oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
