how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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