are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When are your genitals available?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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