Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
