There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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