I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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