You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
