Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
