if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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