Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
