Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
