So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Four minutes until I can fart!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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