And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
