Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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