She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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