I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
