Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
