I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
