Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
