haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
