No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
