I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the day after is always just damage control
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Randomize
