I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
