id be glad to
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize