Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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