i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
