I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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