I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
